Zambezi Kiwi

Living in Zimbabwe

Soul sedimentation

July 9, 2020

It’s nearly two years since Will and I hit the ground running in Vic Falls.

Now, I love a good run, but I have to say two years of it is hectic.

Which is why the DRAMATICALLY slower pace COVID has foisted upon us all hasn’t all been bad for us.

Last year felt insane. It was exhilarating, chaotic, difficult, fun, brutal and nowhere close to boring.

The year before was, for me, almost emotionally traumatic. It involved months of dreading goodbyes, which got more and more unavoidable with every passing day, and so more and more painful. I still hate even thinking about those final few weeks in New Zealand.

But, when I was pondering what this year would look like at the end of 2019, the words ‘make it your ambition to lead a quiet life’ kept rolling through my brain. I knew, after two years of rollercoasters, it was time to get off the ride and stand on the sidelines for a bit.

Given that I was also mega pregga, it seemed like a good idea anyways.

Now, that may sound easy, but it turns out that when you have been living on adrenaline for so long, winding life back (even with a baby) is actually quite hard. You feel a bit edgy, skittish, jumpy- mad basically. Throw in a my people-focused personality and saying no to social occasions is virtually impossible.

So COVID did the job for me.

Months of lockdown, a slower pace, and seclusion on our beautiful property have had me feeling all soul sedimenty. Like my life was a jar full of water and soil being shaken violently by a crazy man, which had suddenly been set down. Everything is settling into place. Rythym, routine, friendships, sights, sounds, smells are all familiar now.

It’s quieter, for sure. Some might even say boring. But it is, I know deep down, very necessary.

There is a bit of a downside to all this settling for me; I have been feeling WAY more homesick. It seems strange to feel it hit in year two, but I just don’t think I’ve had a chance to notice until now.

For the first time since I moved I’ve had days staring at the door wishing my mum would walk through it, or moments staring at the Zambezi River with the Waikato River rushing through my mind.

I suppose there always will be two worlds in my mind and heart. That’s just part of moving, especially if you come to love your new home, too.

So for now I’ll take the slower pace, even if it does mean a bit of homesickness- it’s just so nice to be settling.

2 thoughts on “Soul sedimentation

  1. Viki Johnson says:

    Oh beautiful girl, I wish I could give you a giant hug. So glad you are able to breath and be still. Enjoy every moment with your precious children and that lovely man. Life will be busy again soon so enjoy the peace and even the reminiscing and missing. Emotions are part of God’s design as long as we don’t fall into a pit of despair! You are missed and loved so much. But the world is small and once Covid is sorted people will flood your home with joy and laughter. Hopefully you will never have this forced rest again, so rest, play, hug and pray.

    Like

    1. Thanks Viki! We will look forward to the day you and Craig visit 😜

      Like

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